Sunday, July 28, 2013

Existential Dilemma of an Almost 30 y/o Happy Guy.

Have you ever thought on which way you wouldn't like to die? 

For me It's Falling Down The Stairs.

It's different from falling from a high rise building. When you fall from a building, depending on the height, it can give you 1 to 2 secs for your life to flash by your eyes. Burj Al Khalifa will give you 6 seconds. Then when you've seen everything, a fraction of a second will make you realise that you're done for and there is nothing you can do. With that millisecond, you give in and just relish the moment that you're finally flying. You begin to tell yourself that is awes.....PLAT! Then your brains are all over the pavement and your entrails probably a few meters from you. Falling from a Building is somehow a gutsy way to die. People imagine that you are a sort of Daredevil who bent down to peek a few inches more, lost your balance, fell, and splat. It's a stupid way to die. Stupid but Gutsy.

That's different from Falling Down The Stairs. The higher you fall the more painful it is. You go.. bump-break-bump-ouch-ouch-crack-plat. It's a longer process but I reckon that the "flashing-of-life-by-your-eyes" won't have a proper hold. It will be interrupted by every bones you break, every moan you make on your way down. You ARE CONSCIOUS WHILE FALLING. Then you die. Unlike the awesome/epic graphic remains you will have when you free fall, all you will be from the bottom of the stairs are a collection of weird limbs and bumps and bruises. 

Unlike free falling, death by staircase are 98% proof of stupidity. It's like texting while driving, or you misappropriate the size of your feet, or you're too confident with your stiletto. The other 2% is when it is a wet/slippery floor and some dumbass forget to put a warning sign. But then again, you should always be careful with stairs. So remember, falling from the stairs is stupid. You're Dead, and you're Stupid.

Honestly, If I am to have my way, I'd rather die of an illness, most preferably Cancer. You see, I think it's in our genes. They say my granny died of some illness caused by supernatural beings. Living in the province believing in superstitions for your whole life will make any inexplicable malady caused by Engkantos or Faeries. I have an aunt who died of Cancer (scientifically diagnosed)  and the symptoms are eerily the same. I had another Uncle who died of it too. I wish it would skip our generation, but if it doesn't, I think I'm the only one who have the emotional strength to handle it. I don't want to see one of my sisters suffering. 

I'm telling you this because last night, I slipped from my apartment staircase. It was the last step, I thought there wasn't any. I twisted my ankle, fell face down (but didn't face plant luckily) and my life didn't flash by. Instead I was thinking.... "Fuck! My cellphone! It's gonna smash!" You think that it's just a mere 1 step, but I'm 5-feet-10-inches, add that 1 step and I'm falling more than 6 feet in an inclined position yeah?

I ended up having a swollen ankle, some superficial scratch and bruises and I can't feel 3 of my toes. There must have been some muscle tear but I'm sure no bones were broken. My phone survived too.

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