Sunday, November 14, 2010

It Just Keeps Getting Bigger

2 years 2 inches and my waistline just keeps on adding some inches. The truth is I worry about having a big belly! There I said it. Because these ever living, ever expanding fats right here are not rite of passage (like drinking coffee), they are here to stay, building a separate organ , watching LOST DVD with me, procreating on a daily basis, actively participating in decision-making, demanding a better accommodation and posher lifestyle and proclaiming their own holidays. Believe me, nothing will freak you out early Monday morning than witnessing your own fats outside your window rallying for the right of assembly.Everyday I feel like I'm slowly losing control over them, little by little they are making their own rules from toilet etiquette to table manners without considering my opinion. They even wake me up at night in the middle of my sleep cause one of them just had a "very clever idea" blah blah and decided to hold a meeting. We even had a serious argument last Tuesday when they're acting like bitches, saying they hate Tuesday and wanted to sleep it off. It's a losing battle everyday for me and I needed to do something before they take over and kick me out from my own lodging. I read a news about a 900 pound man who were helplessly controlled by his fats that the firemen made a big hole on the wall of his house and used a forklift to get him out and bring him to a hospital. I know I will never reach that point but I will surely die from embarrassment not from a heart attack if ever! His reason? he just can't stop eating and he craves for pizza alot! And I don't blame him and he clearly needs help. These little bastards are highly tyrannical and territorial and it will take your body a lifetime of grinding and crunching in a gym and a discipline of a Samurai to completely annihilate every strand of life that is breathing out of them.

So whattodowhattodowhattodo? Mien Gott if I only knew!

In the mean time, I think I want hamburgers for dinner.

Soft Porn

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