Nothing To Worry About

Something weird happened just now. I was drafting a gloomy post in relation to this gloomy picture I took and wanted to call it “This way to Gotham”. It is a story on how I finally got the time to go back to this forlorn street after weeks of self imposed reasons like I’m too busy and the bus stop is too far, or what to do after, or the street is too mainstream for “dark theme photography” (is there such a thing?) but in between drafting I was chatting with a friend about the good life in Philippines, beaches we’ve been to, bitches we met, that pacman shoes we saw online, how the colors change when you squint one eye and more trivial but happy matters. I was  typing and tagging interesting snippets and words because it i think it was funny and would make a good blogging material sometime in the future. I didn’t realize I was mixing two thoughts at the same time. Anyhoo, Ithis is what it came out and  thought I’d arrange them like this to look like a poem or something.

Lets forget about
the stock market
or ruling the world
for the meanwhile
and appreciate
a glass of cold water
soft pillows
and a pleasant smile

Let's be amazed
with the fact
that the yellow sun rises
and not fuss about
promotions, 3 day sales
and winning Nobel prizes

Let's not worry
where the human race is headed
or if you will pass
tomorrows test
We can't win the universe
some times "good enough"
is better than "best"

Stop chasing for that
millionaire husband
or beauty queen wife
talk to your dog
buy ice cream
eat cake
and see the sparkle
in a simple kind of life

So yeah, there. My Lame  Attempt on Poetry (Accidental though it may be)

How to Make a Holga Splitzer

I know a lot of people who prefers the Diana instead of a Holga just for the sake of wizz bang features/add-ons/hacks. Diana got lots of lens adaptor, splitzer and even a polaroid back. Well F**k that. Yeah it may be cool but I don’t wanna shell out $$$ for a feature that I won’t really use.

Here comes Holga's answer for the Splitzer. There have been a lot of "modifications" available for a Holga making it the "Frankenstein" of all toy cameras. This this one I assure you is non-destructive.

First tip when you bought your Holga is to ditch the lens cap. Its easy to forget to take it off, and in my case, in my first few rolls I stupidly wasted almost half the roll because of this. But who says it's totally useless?  

To make a Holga Splitzer, all you need is that cap and 2 minutes of your time! Yes, that's just freaking 2 minutes! (and some band-aid if you're a clutz)

You will need;

Errmm… that’s all. And here’s what you do;

Cut it in half (that’s the first and final step)

And here are the results;

Needless to say, I need more practice in guesstimating the vanishing point, but hey if I say so myself the first self portrait was on the spot

It Just Keeps Getting Bigger

2 years 2 inches and my waistline just keeps on adding some inches. The truth is I worry about having a big belly! There I said it. Because these ever living, ever expanding fats right here are not rite of passage (like drinking coffee), they are here to stay, building a separate organ , watching LOST DVD with me, procreating on a daily basis, actively participating in decision-making, demanding a better accommodation and posher lifestyle and proclaiming their own holidays. Believe me, nothing will freak you out early Monday morning than witnessing your own fats outside your window rallying for the right of assembly.Everyday I feel like I'm slowly losing control over them, little by little they are making their own rules from toilet etiquette to table manners without considering my opinion. They even wake me up at night in the middle of my sleep cause one of them just had a "very clever idea" blah blah and decided to hold a meeting. We even had a serious argument last Tuesday when they're acting like bitches, saying they hate Tuesday and wanted to sleep it off. It's a losing battle everyday for me and I needed to do something before they take over and kick me out from my own lodging. I read a news about a 900 pound man who were helplessly controlled by his fats that the firemen made a big hole on the wall of his house and used a forklift to get him out and bring him to a hospital. I know I will never reach that point but I will surely die from embarrassment not from a heart attack if ever! His reason? he just can't stop eating and he craves for pizza alot! And I don't blame him and he clearly needs help. These little bastards are highly tyrannical and territorial and it will take your body a lifetime of grinding and crunching in a gym and a discipline of a Samurai to completely annihilate every strand of life that is breathing out of them.

So whattodowhattodowhattodo? Mien Gott if I only knew!

In the mean time, I think I want hamburgers for dinner.

Saturday Chasing Pigeons

And this is what I've been doing this weekend.... Chasing flying Pigeons. Unlike in the Philippines, birds here in Singapore and fearless. They gather around you to peck the food you throw.

Most of the times even if you shoo them they just hop and RUN away instead of FLY. So on a hot Saturday afternoon, I have decided that I am in much need of a pam-porma shades. But being the cheapskate that I am, I went to Little India for the everything $1.90 Store. 5 minutes later I was off weaving in and out the backstreets of Hindoo, Baboo, and whathaveyou lanes with may aviator shades, backpack, my Holga, Digicam and a tourist map. Bwahahaha. Yeah I know, I'm a poser.

For a Saturday, Little India was a little quiet and the usual mass of our dark skinned foreign workers, were not to be found. My initial plan was to take portraits of them and print it out from the nearby photo store. I contented myself on sitting on a side street North-Indian canteen while watching a song and dance number by Amithab Bachman in his 30's and a captivating leading lady with flat belly and brown eyes. 

Them Pigeons were everywhere.

I kept half of the prata I'm eating (sadness) and walked to the little park I passed before. I threw a piece a size of my fingernails. The clouds went dark with the mass of wings and feathers (I'm exaggerating) and they descended on me, specifically beside my feet.

I weaved my camera in the midst of them to no avail. They were enjoying the prata bread. 10 seconds later, they began scattering again, some are looking at my direction waiting for another bit. I did not fail them. This process repeated five times until I realized that I am actually giving away my 3 dollar snack. So, I poured a generous amount of curry on it and gobbled it before the gazing pigeons.

 

Needless to say, their interest in me were gone as I swallow the last morsel of bread. At this point, when they wont come near me, I began chasing them. I started shooing the remaining birds near me, but when they just hopped instead of fly, I made noises and threw my (holga) lens cap at them. This generated the desired reaction.

I kept chasing them for the next fifteen minutes and I wonder what I looked like to the Indians at the park and the foreigners at the hostel across the street.

Pretty neat eh?

Can Somebody Tell Me What Happened?

It’s been two years. Since I set foot here in Singapore.

Two years?! Instead of losing weight because of homesickness, I’m gaining more for some reason. Stress it seems, went well with me.

What the heck, is that a double chin I’m seeing?

I blame it to Murkabak, Cheesy Fries and Hawker Centers selling Kanin Baboy.

Commercial Break ( Canon G11 accessories for sale )

After 5 months, my Canon G11 called it quits when it decided that it had been too wet to continue after a little dip in the water. Canon Centre said the warranty don’t cover water damage and if I want to repair, they’ll have to replace major parts and it will set be back around SGD 500 –600. I bought my G11 at SGD750.00

I am selling my G11 accessories in a major discounted price, I have adaptor and tele converter lens that I bought but only used just a couple of times, ( message me for price ) and the official G11 Leather Camera Case, I am selling it for SGD100 (priced SGD150 at Canon Flagship store )

Leather Case for SGD 100 (negotiable)

Vitacon 0.5X Wide Tele Converter Lens + lens adapter ( Bought at SGD 220.00 ) Negotiable

Desktop De-clutter

I am re-organizing my life and it starts with my desktop.

It has come to my attention that over 90 percent of my desktop shortcuts and icons are  useless, my taskbar and start menu are redundant. So i decided to uninstall some of them and deleted shortcuts I seldom use, retaining the most used programs. And this is what I came up with

Just a recycle bin and my broadband mobile connections.

I chose the programs I use daily and place them on my taskbar for ease of access. I wanted to put some more but I don’t want my taskbar to look like that of a Mac so I pinned them on my start menu instead.

So yeah I’m a man of simple wants and needs.

Reach for the Cable Car

Photo of the Day

Happy 1st day of the Month

( Fuji Provia 100, Holga 120 )

Did anyone notice that days goes by very fast recently? Like you wake up on Monday morning and suddenly its Friday already. I passed the month of July in that kinda way.

The Thingey : Man Boobs

Yesterday I saw something when I looked down.

Cleavage

And it's not arousing at all.

I blame it to my lack of cooking skills and instant gratification of fried foods.

This is One of Those Thingeys

Un-officially this is my 7th will. ( I write them at least once a year when I can't think of anything to write about) As usual, I am just trying to copy/paste from my previous wills and snip some of details here and there. I wanted it to be dramatic but i'm not in the mood tonight, I'm feeling rather morbid instead. I wanted it to be long but I don't have lots of stuffs to leave to people and I only have a couple of people that I want to leave stuffs to.

I leave my gadgets to my siblings. My laptop to my Jess, my cellphone to Joyce, my digicam to Ann and.... oh that's basically it. Uhh, My clothes to an orphanage. I like the idea of helping people by giving them stuffs that I don't need anymore. I look generous instead of, well, dead. I'm not sure if an orphanage is willing to take clothes of a dead man but hey, it's the thought that counts. My books to a library, if ever they're interested in weird fantasy novels.

Anyhoo April is Cancer Awareness month. My granny died of cancer, I have an uncle who died of it, and last year a very close aunt succumed to it too.I'm not wishing of getting it but if its not skipping generation, better me than someone in my family. I think i'd have a better coping mechanism if ever and besides being bald looks good on me.

I keep looking for mistakes but never get to erase anything. So I guess thats it.