Le Taxi Driver Experience

                       

The best tour guides in any city are the cab drivers. They know all things both trivial and weird about places that you will not find in any travel guide books and blogs. This is specially true in the small city state of Singapore, where a cab driver of 2 years probably have been literally everywhere multiple times. These cab drivers can also be a source of general opinions (political or otherwise, mostly unwanted too) and local gossips. If they are talkative enough, they could be a the Singapore voice in a nutshell for Tourists.

As a matter of fact, I learned all the juicy stuffs and street knowledge from them when I first settled here some 5 years ago. 

Scene number 1: 
Coming from a party around 2AM, going back home I heard this unexpected field report about Girls of Geylang. 

Me: Uncle, Lorong 28 Geylang
Driver: Ahhh.... Which way, geylang ah? You Filipino ah?
Me: We go Guillemard, Yeah, How can you tell?
Driver: You, Babaero ahh.. Hahahahaha (Babaero = Playboy in tagalog)
Me: Where did you learn that word?!
Driver: My Filipina gerpren told me.

The Playboy Taxi Uncle who have a Filipina gerpren started telling stories about the girls I will find in Geylang. Apparently he thought I'm there to find some sexy time.

Driver: Dun waste your money with tseena gels ah. Outside they veli sweet. But you pay money   inside they just shake your didi until to come then finish leh. Waste of 100 dalla. Better take those indo cewek (?) (he pronouced as chiwek - i don't know what this is) at Lorong 10, you pay 30 or 40 good sevis oredi. Best sevis are Thailand ger. Veli veli good sevis.

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Scene number 2:
I Learned On how big Singapore actually is.

Driver: I drive 20 years. First time flood like this. Siao eh (crazy) betta commute but MRT faulty too. Dun know what’s happening leh.

They dig dig for mrt. Yellow line, Brown line, why need so many lines ah, Singapore so small what? 
I drive from Changi to Tuas in 1hour! Aiyoo!

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Scene Number 3: 
They are also multilingual and amusing with their showing off.

Driver: You Filipino ah?

Ako: Yup, how did you know?

Driver: How you speak. I kenna learn Filipino too. Salamat po!

Ako: Cool, where did you learn?

Driver: I have lots of Filipino passengers, night shift call centers and club gels.

Ako: Ah…

Driver: Kaliwa, kanan? Hahahahaha. (translation: Left or Right? LOL) -- This despite we were on an overpass and there are not exits to turn left or right

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Scene number 4:
Singapore held a Presidential Election 2 years ago, and coming from PH with a westernized political structure, the notion of Prime Minister and MP's confuses me. Uncle Cabbie to the rescue.

Driver: Election coming already, all president running last name Tan. Very funny lah.

Ako: Uncle, what’s the difference between, President, Prime Minister and LKY (Lee Kuan Yew)

Driver: LKY is Minister Mentor, he is father. Prime Minister is his son (which is true literally)  

            President is like treasurer only and display.

Ako: Like mother?

Driver: No, more like maid.

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Scene 4: 
Just like how they learn from us when it comes to Language. 
We too, can learn from them.

Driver: Filipino language almost same same with malay language

Ako: I know, Pintu, Batu, Gunting…

Driver: Yah lah, I understood what you talking back there.

Ako: Bro, what’s the Malay word for FART

Driver: Fat?

Ako: Fart

Driver: What? Fat ah?

Ako: No, no, fart. You know puuuttt and then bad smell? (while discribing, I was pointing at my ass)

Driver:  Ahhh… Buntut!

Ako: No, I know buntut. Buntut is tail right? Like monkey, tail? Buntut. I mean fart. The smell.

Driver: Ahhhh I know I know. KENTUT!

Ako: (Shocked) Really?! KENTUT?! Hahahaha. What does, Kentut means? (just to make sure)

Driver: Bad smell, you asked. Why you KENTUT ah? Don’t KENTUT inside my cab!!!

Sometime later (actually a few weeks after) I had a chance to ask our Malay speaking courier and ask him if KENTUT is fart and of course, It is. 

** Kentut sounds the same as the tagalog word for FUCK. The super obscene and vulgar version. 
     I am actually contemplating on writing it down because it's that vulgar I feel dirty. hahahaha.
     But here you go, KANTUT. So yeah. Cheers 

   

Holga + Orchard Road

I hate Monday. Don’t you hate Monday? I do.

Nothing can ever put me in a sour mood except Monday. Perhaps because I spend the weekends sleeping late and waking late and only getting up when I feel bedsore, and not eating meals  not because I’m not hungry but because I’m too lazy to cook and there is nothing to cook anyway. I can’t do that on Monday, because on Monday I have to get up early and be at work early, you know, starting the week right. My brain is hardwired to that silly superstition that what to do on Monday sets the whole week’s mood. So If I’m late on Monday, It’ll be a tardy whole week, so forth and so on. So yeah I hate Monday.

I only half like Friday and Sunday. Its Saturday I like more, and Holiday the most (because you’re supposed to work but not going too)

Speaking of Friday, here are some Holga prints for that last Bulbing Session.

Must Be In Everyone’s To-Do List Before Dying

 

Last Thursday, we found out that the top of the World is on the 57th floor of Marina Bay Sands.

I am still lost for words and I will let the pictures speak for itself.

The place is the epitome of the word PIRTURESQUE. If I am not missing an arm and a leg now, I’d be back for more.

Photo of the Day

And the Sun Says Peek-a-boo

Holga 120 / Fuji Provia

Chasing Flying Pigeons II

I am archiving my images so save my bloated hard disk, and guess what? I found out that I’ve been chasing flying pigeons for a long time!

 Viviar UWS + Kodak Ektachrome

One of the I-thought-I-wasted-film-because-I-have-to-rewind-and-double-expose moment.

Holga 120 / Fuji Pro

I am wishing I have telephoto lens here

Holga 120 / forgot the film, but definitely just a normal one

Triple exposing birds flying above my head in batches

Saturday Chasing Pigeons

And this is what I've been doing this weekend.... Chasing flying Pigeons. Unlike in the Philippines, birds here in Singapore and fearless. They gather around you to peck the food you throw.

Most of the times even if you shoo them they just hop and RUN away instead of FLY. So on a hot Saturday afternoon, I have decided that I am in much need of a pam-porma shades. But being the cheapskate that I am, I went to Little India for the everything $1.90 Store. 5 minutes later I was off weaving in and out the backstreets of Hindoo, Baboo, and whathaveyou lanes with may aviator shades, backpack, my Holga, Digicam and a tourist map. Bwahahaha. Yeah I know, I'm a poser.

For a Saturday, Little India was a little quiet and the usual mass of our dark skinned foreign workers, were not to be found. My initial plan was to take portraits of them and print it out from the nearby photo store. I contented myself on sitting on a side street North-Indian canteen while watching a song and dance number by Amithab Bachman in his 30's and a captivating leading lady with flat belly and brown eyes. 

Them Pigeons were everywhere.

I kept half of the prata I'm eating (sadness) and walked to the little park I passed before. I threw a piece a size of my fingernails. The clouds went dark with the mass of wings and feathers (I'm exaggerating) and they descended on me, specifically beside my feet.

I weaved my camera in the midst of them to no avail. They were enjoying the prata bread. 10 seconds later, they began scattering again, some are looking at my direction waiting for another bit. I did not fail them. This process repeated five times until I realized that I am actually giving away my 3 dollar snack. So, I poured a generous amount of curry on it and gobbled it before the gazing pigeons.

 

Needless to say, their interest in me were gone as I swallow the last morsel of bread. At this point, when they wont come near me, I began chasing them. I started shooing the remaining birds near me, but when they just hopped instead of fly, I made noises and threw my (holga) lens cap at them. This generated the desired reaction.

I kept chasing them for the next fifteen minutes and I wonder what I looked like to the Indians at the park and the foreigners at the hostel across the street.

Pretty neat eh?

Can Somebody Tell Me What Happened?

It’s been two years. Since I set foot here in Singapore.

Two years?! Instead of losing weight because of homesickness, I’m gaining more for some reason. Stress it seems, went well with me.

What the heck, is that a double chin I’m seeing?

I blame it to Murkabak, Cheesy Fries and Hawker Centers selling Kanin Baboy.

Long Time No See

Last saturday took me walking around town and down the beach. Brought my Holga 120 and vivitar and a stash of films. I finished 2 rolls of B&W films (Lucky and Neopan) but unfortunately I can only get the prints on weds. The studio only process B&W every Tues and Thurs.

But I dropped by to get the cross-processed film today ( Fujichrome Tungsten 64T ) for my Vivitar, and Lo and Behold! After almost 5 months of hibernation, the wide-angled-wonder still got it!

What I like about Singapore is the closeness of everything to anywhere. I can just ride a bus and 30 mins later I'm playing in the sand.

Even locals looks like a tourist in the new Universal Studios. Entrance is NOT CHEAP though.

Also there are parks everywhere. Boardwalk near the sea and even PARK on the roof of a mall.

Another 30 minutes or less from the beach are Historical sights and architecture, like The Raffles Hotel. It's supposed to be the oldest Hotel in Singapore it and has witnessed some very important things in History -- like the invention of Singapore Sling...

Anyway, apparently any ordinary man, or even the CEO or Executive of a multi million company can't afford to stay there. They only have Presidential / Executive / Premier Suite, and the lowest room starts at US99,999 dollars. Famous personalities who stayed there were MJ, Celine Bill Gates and Clinton. The hotel is so exclusive it is even rumored they have underground tunnels/roads connecting to key establishment to avoid the paparazzi.

In Philippines, I like to be in Quiapo by day and Malate by night. I just love being in the crowd. For some strange reason, whenever I walk around without a plan, I always, ALWAYS end up at Orchard Road. Day or night, I always end up there.

Also Dairy Queen's Mudslide Blizzard (w/o nuts) is my comfort food after a long walk.